Hey guys. Sam J. Miller (the guy who wrote about his feelings toward Fall Out Boy trying to appeal to the gay demographic in October) asked me to post his short story “Jerking Off To Agnostic Front”. Trust me, it isn’t nearly as controversial as the title would have you believe. Check it out here, and afterwards, go to his website samjmiller.com, and tell him what you think. I mean its the least you can do for the guy, right?
Peace,
Don
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I’d say it’s pretty much as controversial as the title says. I do understand that it’s more of a personal story than a social critic about the hardcore scene, but to me it depicts exactly the wrong reasons why any homo would get into punk rock; that is to be able to see and have a feel at all the guys down there.
Don’t get me wrong, Sam did actually appreciate the band for its music, but the fact that he’s down to shows to be able to smell the sweat of big dudes and then come back home to jerk off thinking about it just grossed me out.
Reading this, I had the impression to read a 16-year old that’s still in the closet and spends his time going to punk shows just so he could make out with his other homo friends that night. To me, that’s not quite the behavior gay people should have if they ever claim to be socially integrated; it’s auto-segregation more than anything else.
Now I know the blogger IS out, but isn’t blogging some kind of anonymous in itself? In that case, it looks like the author wrote this as an exit door because he didn’t feel comfortable saying that to anyone in the real life. I don’t think Agnostic Front would be very pleased to read this, not because of the straight/gay gap between them and not even because he’s got a kind of fancrush on the singer, but rather because he clearly paid his ticket for the wrong reason.
Is there any way to contact this guy via mail?
I’d like to copy & paste his story onto my own blog (giving credits, of course), because i found it quite hard to read with this super mario background. I don’t think there would be any problems but I’m better safe than sorry.
@Sundaystar
(sorry for the bad english, I’m no native speaker and my written english is a little bit “rusty”)
I do not really get your point. It sounds like you only put the finger on the author because of his sexual desires. What is the problem if he gets turned on by male punks dancing and moshing at a show? And why is it auto-segregation if he uses an existing area or social room (or tries to create new ones) where he can express himself and his sexuality more openly than it is possible in most social contexts?
Fraktale,
Don’t worry, I’m not English either.
And for my point, well, you pretty much summed it up for me. The issue here is not to whom he’s attracted to, but rather how he chooses to express and, most importantly, fulfill it. Creating new social spheres for his private desires is exactly what segregation is. What I meant is that having that kind of fantasies should be widely accepted in the mainstream, however he seems to willingly hide it behind a closely knit group of individuals,that is a few queer friends and the reader of his blogs, so no one else notices about it.
My argument here is not whether if liking big sweaty guys is good or bad, but rather in what context he chooses to express it. And I don’t think writing it in a blog is as near as rewarding as actually trying to live up to it.
I thought we were judging the literature itself, not the author.
Don,
That’s practically what I’m doing. But how can you separate a text from its author if he’s depicting his own behavior through it?
@Sundaystar
I agree with you that those desires should be widely accepted as normal sexual desires. But we all at least have an idea how hard it can be to “confront” your social environment (relatives, not-queer friends etc.) with your sexual identity/orientation. I would not blame some teenage kid for not being brave enough to do that (and he mentions being beaten up btw.). Blame the heterosexist status quo where being straight is “normal” and every thing else seen as a deviation. Radical Queers (I think punk & hardcore queers should be subsumed under this label) should long for confrontation, not silent integration.
Fraktale,
I agree with you with the confrontation-vs-integration part, however I’m not sure if that’s what the author is actually doing in this case. Confrontation would mean defy straight assholes that used to beat him up, but I think that having a blog read by (at least, I assume) 80-90% queers does not confront the stereotype in any way; I even think it reinforces the shame young gay people would have regarding their sexual desires.
To me, the best way to piss off these status quo jocks would be to have them actually read something like that, and not to keep gay editorials strictly on gay blogs; the visibility just isn’t there.